Writer’s [building] Block.

Hey.

It sure has been a while since I’ve posted here. I remember starting this over a year ago, when I used to post once a week.

Then a lot of things happened.

It has been almost a year since the passing of my sister and there are plenty of moments the pain still feels raw and jarring.

As much as I try not to let that moment define me, I cannot escape the undeniable fact that it has. I unintentionally have drawn a firm line in my experiences, memories, and core being, separating the ‘before’ and ‘after’ that moment.

If you’re thinking to yourself “That doesn’t seem like a healthy way to reflect upon your life,” you are absolutely right. But, alas, here I am, doing just that. Unhealthy as it is, I can’t deny I’ve learned.

Boy have I learned. About family. About true friendships. About losing people. Both in a literal sense [<3 Jennie, Grandpa] and in the more abstract pain and confusion of a parting of ways. I've also learned about how fellowship and camaraderie can bloom out of some pretty dark corners. I've kept old true friends and developed new cherished bonds. I've done all these things by first learning about myself.

While I deeply regret that so much beauty, love, and understanding was only able to come into fruition after such a time of tragedy, I must accept it for the gift that it is.

Now throughout this past year, I have also been lucky to maintain my 'sense of humor' and downright offbeat life outlook that has fueled my inspiration for writing this window into my world.

But, as your keen powers of observation may have deduced, my posting is a piddly shadow of my initial one/week efforts. There are some reasons for this such as: I've had plenty more stressors going on in my life, I'm just too freaking lazy, I stopped caring, etc.

I actually have a folder FULL of drafts all ranging from fragmented sentence ideas, to completed pieces. For a seemingly unknown reason I have become less and less able to complete these ideas.

After some reflection, I have figured out the reason.

This was originally intended to be an unapologetic open expression of myself. And in the beginning, it was. But as I've taken many deep looks in the proverbial mirror, I have developed a deeper and truer understanding of myself. Unfortunately, I have not opened up to everyone yet, and have lost the desire to have to exercise caution and place filters on media I originally intended to be an open and honest chronicle of myself.

So I am taking a hiatus. How long will it be? I am not sure.

I do know this: I don't plan on returning until I am able to get back to the openness I originally intended this place to be. That will first require me to be more communicative with a few more close people in my life. This is a tremendous goal I plan on attaining.

Be prepared, because when I come back, things will be so different, but still very much the same.

Everyone can speculate, guess, or assume whatever they want out of this rambly mess, but it doesn't really matter.

Thank you to everyone I've already opened up to. You're all the best.

All Hallows Eve

Gather around the campfire kids, for I am about to tell you a story. One so scary, so creepy, so spooky, that you may need TWO nightcaps to fall asleep.

Actually, I am just going to take some time and discuss a Holiday that jus happens to be approaching and just happens to be my favorite. If you guessed Leif Ericsson day, you are close, but no cigar. Halloween it is!!

In honor of Halloween, I am going to partake in one of my favorite pastimes, list-making, and provide you all with a list of my 25 favorite things about Halloween (in no particular order).

1. The Music.  I will actually compose a list of my top 10 favorite Halloween songs (10 being most favorite). Ooh a list within a list… click and enjoy!

  1. Psycho Killer – Talking Heads
  2. Monster Mash
  3. Dragula – Rob Zombie
  4. Jeepers Creepers
  5. Ghostbusters
  6. Addams Family
  7. I Put A Spell On You – Screamin’ Jay Hawkins
  8. Time Warp
  9. Thriller – Michael Jackson (Of course this is on my list. Find a list without this song!)
  10. Day-O (Banana Boat Song) – Harry Belafonte
    Now you may wonder why this one is my favorite when it has nothing to do with Halloween. Behold!

2. Halloween is a holiday where everyone is either very laid back or extremely uptight. The uptight people are even more fun to mess with. You can’t take them too seriously because really, what’s the worst they can do?
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3. The Great Pumpkin. While most children knew that Santa Claus thrived on the Christmas Spirit within the hearts of children, most forget that The Great Pumpkin relies on The Halloween Spirit as well.

4. This is the last Holiday I am forced to show my legs before I can let my winter coat grow.
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5. Watching old school Scooby-Doo!
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(Which usually is paired with me inhaling an entire box of these puppies)

6. Going through the yearly crisis of debating whether or not Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween or Christmas movie.
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7. The lovely fall weather!  Except the Halloween of ’91. We don’t like remembering that day.
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F. T. S.

8. Zombie-Themed things!  Walking Dead, Zombie Pub Crawl (so fun!), and the fact that your post-Halloween Bash hangover allows you to fit in with the undead as you angrily stumble out of bed the next morning.
Quick joke!   What did the Vegan say after he turned into a Zombie? GRAAAAAAIIIINS…… 
I’ll be here all week! Tip your waitresses!

9. Caramel!!!  I always buy those bags of caramel squares for baking, but let’s be honest, I never get around to that crap. So I am left with the bag all to myself.
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10. Vampires. I love me some vampires. I wrote a whole post about them.

11. Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice, Sweeney Todd, Tim Burton in General.
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Friggin’ Idol

12. Little kid costumes.
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So Adorable!

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So Innocent!

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So… DEAR GOD WHAT IS THAT?!?

13. Halloween is a wonderful time of year where it is acceptable to day drink as long as the beverages are fall themed.
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(Although you might wanna pass on the Pumpkin Margaritas)

14. Ghostbusters. There is no explanation needed. But if you insist…
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15. The Munsters. Whether it be the classic show, or the recently released TV Movie, Mockingbird Lane (Seriously, watch that shit. Eddie Izzard and Portia Del Rossi in a pairing you’ll likely never see again!) The Munsters always get me in the spirit right from the catchy theme song.

16. Scary Movies! I admit, I am a huge pansy when it comes to horror movies. But even a big wuss such as I needs to partake in this Halloween staple.

17. Pulling pranks on people!! Everyone knows that Halloween is full of tricks! Some lighthearted, some not. Mine usually fall somewhere in the middle of the road.
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18. They’re creepy and they’re kooky. Mysterious and spooky. They’re altogether ooky, the Kardashians! But seriously. I love the Addams Family. I tend to relate to a certain member more than the others.
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19. Pumpkin Carving
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So fun. I wish this was a thing all year.

20. Rocky Horror Picture Show. This movie is the bees knees. It is a glorious Halloween tradition of mine to watch it. I will hopefully upgrade to viewing the live show.

21. Animal Costumes.
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So Cute!

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So Funny!

url-13So… hard to sleep knowing the threat of vengeful death is looming.

22. All the fun tv specials. Whether it be original movies, or halloween episodes. There is an abundance of spooky or downright candy-corny halloween shows to suit your fancy.

23. The decor is so fun and unique. Since when is it acceptable to accessorize your yard with cobwebs, dead trees, remains, cracked windows, toilet paper, and other various states of disrepair. SIGN ME UP!

24. The costumes! Whether you’re a slut just dressing up for another ol’ day, a prude letting your freak flag fly, a hipster with a costume of “something you’ve probably never heard of,
url-14or whatever the hell this is supposed to be….
there is usually a costume that will let you express yourself!

25. The CANDY!!!
url-2Eat. It. ALLLLL!!!!!!!!